the wind is blowing strongly outside now, and everyone is inside by the fire. once again isabel has invited me and tyler to the same event. us together in close proximity is a recipe for disaster. but in the back of my mind i saw this is  an opportunity.  we are all watching a movie and i see him go to the kitchen, i follow him, and tell him to follow me outside. he declines, and gives me his typical expected sass. " look tyler!" i said firmly. " im not letting you go until you do as i say, im going to talk to you" i maintain a close grip on his arms and his tries to  wiggle free. he pulls and i pull harder  i block his way with my body and he picks me up.in mid air he stops and looks my in the eyes. "please" i said " please tyler" and we walk outside. he stands arms crossed. you could slice the tension with a knife.. i know how this will roll out. first he will be grumpy and snippy. then he would slowly ease out of it and confess his true feelings. "tyler look...i cant do THIS anymore" i said striding towards him. once i reach a foot from him i say " this, whatever THIS is, is NOT going to work anymore. i want you to sit for a second. and LISTEN. DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT I ONCE MEANT TO YOU? and i remember how much you meant to me. i hhate you. i really do. but the thing is ill always love you. you're like an infection. and i wont sit here and pretend to be okay with this rivarlry we have going on. i cant take back what i did and you cant take back what you said. we made mistakes and makybe us breakig  up was for the best. but maybe it wasnt. and i know the odd are against us but i cant live with knowing you hate me and never want to even talk to me. i am not letting you go on with this attitude towards me and i cant continue to hate you as well. i refuse to. but its all your choice you know. i just want you to remember the good times, althought few, we had them. remeber  how you felt when we kissed. i cant find that with anyone else.