there was never really a emotional connection. it was all ....physical. he liked me he wanted me as arm candy. saw my pictures and wanted to be able to say thats my girl. he say me and thught i was cute. he saw my body, my boobs....
and i saw him.
he was hot. a beautiful handsome boy. what was so appealing about hi?
was it his sweet brown puppy eyes, with long dark eyelashes that were just perfect. was it his height, or his tan skin. was it his cute little smile and toned stomach? he was cute. he was hot, and i wanted to show him off too.

and that's what im missing
im doing the wrong thing , im feeling the wrong thing but this is how it is. this is the way its gonna be.
i lost him, no, he LOST ME.
thats right. i might not be able to jump on him , wrap my legs around his body and kiss him again.
i may not be able to lay in a bed with our bodies intertwined holding each other again...
but he wont get the chance to do that with me ever ever again either,


you see its a two way street. it hurts a lot. it hurts to see him with other girls, because i feel like thats my job.
but i have to get passed this pain.
it aches. i ache. the pain is terrible