Saturday, January 5, 2013

UNSUCCESSFUL GUILT AND A DEVASTATING STORY


i made a mistake
at first i felt nothing, strangley numb, everything was irrelevant  yet i found it hard to keep this mistake a secret, and soont he whole school found out. it was new years, i had planned for tyler to come over. you see, we had become good friends again. he had called me and we spoke until we couldnt speak anymore. we admitted to each to her how much we still cared and wanted to share our love for each other. little did i know that i was lying to myself, i didnt still feel that way, but wanted to believe it. he came over, and left. and a huge mistake was made, in the back of my mind i wanted it to be right, but in my heart, i KNEW it was wrong. i suffered from guilt and disappointment in my self and my loss of innocence. my parents read some facebook message and found out. it was devastating. i found myself in a place i had know too well. a dark place, empty. tyler wouldnt answer my calls, wouldnt speak to me. and i was worried that i could be carrying a child. life was at it's worst.

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